Feeling good feels good.

It's impossible to not feel slightly more good after listening
to this.  Walk down the street playing this in your earbuds
and tell me you don't smile.  Impossible!

It's funny how life has its ebbs and flows.  This is nothing new, but somehow it seems like an epiphany over and over again.  When you're in the thick of it, some part of you is very logical and aware that it will most certainly pass, but another part of you just can't see past it.  It's hard to remember how to get back to feeling good again.

Once I got the hang of tracking my food, eating healthier and exercising regularly, it got to be second nature. It seemed so easy.  It was the norm.  It wasn't a challenge.  It was my way of life.  It was all so simple and so good.  

I forgot how easy it can be for that to not be the norm.

After a summer and an autumn of struggle, things are finally getting back to normal.  Being the person of extremes that I am, I expected to just start back up and rule the world as I remembered doing before.  But, therein lies the problem!  I had to break my mindset of trying to get back to where was.

I

am

not

THERE anymore!  That was then.  This is now.  Move along.

A lot has changed since then.  But, things have settled down and I'm in a better place in every way now.  I love it when you finally feel something break, something give way, and you know that you're on the right path again.  Well, it's not even that you're on the correct path again - you're at a great pace and making some serious headway towards whatever intersection, bend, bridge or whatever might be on the way.

I met up with a friend last Sunday who is a dietitian.  The initial plan was to talk about food, get some good ideas for new ways of eating, and new things to eat.  It ended up being a great conversation about where I'm at in life in general and what I've got to do to progress.  

It was a healthy dose of divine intervention.  Even though the things we talked about are things I already knew, it sometimes takes the right person at the right time saying something they didn't even know they needed to that hits you, breaks you down, builds you up, and propels you all at once.

I keep forgetting that life is a process.  Things don't magically find a perfect groove forever.  You may have a good stretch, but you'll have rough ones, too.  And they will come and go, and then come and go again.  

I'm finally starting to get it.  

I don't have to do it all at once!  There are so many things I need to do, both at work, and for myself.  But I've been working on a few things at a time.  This week, my goal was to go grocery shopping and return to my regular eating and exercise habits, remembering that even if I only get a half hour of something in, it is better than nothing.  I've also tried starting my days with 10-15 minutes of some kind of exercise.  One morning, I did a 10 minute Pilates video.  Another morning, I did a bunch of core exercises.  I've overcome my urge to buy peanut butter, because if that's in my house, well - it's over.  

I've also done necessary but boring things like scheduling appointments with doctors and insurance agents, rethinking my spending habits and reworking my budget, getting organized, and figuring out a regular schedule of exercise.  I just might start going to bed earlier, too.  

You've heard me say this before, and I will say it over and over again.

It is amazing what happens when you make calculated, boring, conscious choices to simply do things.  

I'm learning that feeling good and being content is not as simple as "feeling" good.  Right now, I've got a lot to work on.  But feeling good is a choice, and it's choosing to make good decisions that will lead to a life of good, not a season of good.  

It's a new kind of goodness, but nonetheless, it feels good to feel good once again.

Love & do. And don't stop.

I wanted to remember something, so I grabbed my little cork notebook that I carry with me at all times. I suppose it's a journal, but for some reason I have an aversion to the word "journal." It's full of thoughts; sometimes a word, sometimes a few pages.

I opened it up and came across this. I really needed to remember this today, and thought I'd share with you.

You are great. You are unique. You are special. And the same applies to you.

Run, Sarah, Run.

Tonight, I ran.

The forecast said rain.  Dusk had already set in.  But, something about getting caught in the midst of what will most likely be the last warm, rainy deluge of the season just sounded enchantingly refreshing.  IPhone in Ziplock baggie (yeah, makeshift waterproofing...), Tanlines in earbuds, I set off.

I hit record on my my MapMyRun app, and set off walking to Green Grass by Tanlines (which I have listened to at least 30 times today - no exaggeration).  Then, I started running.  What felt like about 2 minutes later, I heard the lovely voice from my app tell me, "Time:  Eight minutes and three seconds.  Distance: 1.0 miles."

Ehhhhh...  That can't be right.  I'm restarting this app...  Yeah, that can't be right.  Do over.

So, I started recording my run over again.  This time?

Lovely-app-lady voice:  "Time: Seven minutes, thirty seconds.  Distance: 1.0 miles."  She said the pace and whatnot, too, but I just couldn't believe it.

Me:  "WHAAAAAAAA?!!!  NO way..." and decided to push myself a bit.

The next mile was under 7 minutes.  So, I kept running until I heard her say, "Time:  Twenty-nine minutes, 23 seconds.  Distance:  4.0 miles."

In the middle of the sidewalk just outside of the Kalamazoo Institute of Arts, I exclaimed, "HAAAAAAAAAAAAA!  HECK yes!"  Surely, everyone walking out of the museum exhibit there tonight could hear the lovely woman's voice giving me such delightful news in my ear, too...  I actually felt myself accidentally smiling at this elderly man as I walked by as though he should be really excited for me, too.  Ah well.  Worst case scenario, he'll think I'm weird.  Best case scenario, he'll get a chuckle out of it.

Forgive the rambling - I am writing this while post-run endorphins are in full effect.

Part of me wanting to keep going - just because.  Why not?  I'm feeling up for it.  And then, like a kind little nudge saying to be happy with what I'd done but not push too hard, the rain began.

Point is:  I ran 5 miles in about 38 minutes, and this is something I never imagined that I would be able to do. Little by little, I'm improving.  Push a little harder.  Run a little further.  You will be happily surprised.

Update:  I'm thinking my app was totally off.  I did some figuring, and it was really more like 45 minutes, but I am still pleased as punch with that!

5k and A New Day.

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Sunday.  It should have been a great day.  I should have been really pleased with myself.

Should have...

Last year, my grand ol' city of Kalamazoo became host to a new marathon - Borgess Hospital's Run for the Health of It.  The company I work for decided to sponsor any of us who wanted to get involved, so I decided it'd be a great idea and a great example of my new-found healthy lifestyle to take part.  I had a hard time coming alive that day, but I pushed myself through it and I finished in 52 minutes.  I was disappointed that day because I knew I did over 3 miles regularly in a little less than that, but I was pleased that I'd decided to partake.

It's so interesting looking back.  One year ago, I was about 285lbs and had lost about 30.  I was in better shape and feeling really good about myself.  I walked along with my friend Erin, each of us with our pump-you-up tunes channeling into our brains through one earbud so we could chat along the way.  We huffed it!  We did the math, and we walked an average of 4.13 miles per hour and I was really pleased with the steady pace, even uphill.  It's really weird to think that I did the same thing today as I did a year ago, but about 90lbs lighter, and about 10 minutes faster.  It felt good to improve and feel how far I've come.

But.

After all of that, I couldn't stop thinking about how my lack of diligence has caught up with me and I spent the better part of the day feeling so very disappointed in myself.  I know I've put on a couple of pounds.  I've had a rough month, which is no excuse.  But instead of my exercise enhancing my weight loss, it's helped me juuuuust about break even.  I've realized that if there are easy, yummy things around me, I don't say no very well.  I'm just fine when I can control the foods around me and how they've been prepared.  When I'm not in as much control as I'd like, though, I find myself either eating without even realizing what I've consumed, or almost having an anxiety attack about how what I'm going to do so that I stick within what I know I should consume.  I've had a few awkward moments at restaurants when I pretty much have an anxiety attack over what I'm going to eat because it seems like there isn't anything reasonable for me to eat.  True story.  Ask my Mom.

What am I going to do about this?

I've gotta celebrate!  I've come so far!  I'm perfectly capable of making good choices, but I realize I'm still in a phase where I have to log my calories the majority of the time, because while I am a better eater overall, I still have times where I eat thoughtlessly and end up eating things that I shouldn't.  Work in progress here, people.  Work in progress.  And while this is nauseatingly overused, tomorrow really is a new day.  Today was a new day, too.  What did I do with it?  What shall I do with tomorrow?

I decided that today, I would reboot - get back to my good, ol' healthy eating standards and let my body get back to normal and recover from all of the things it's not used to processing.  I already feel better.

And what surprise awaited me on this day of getting back on the horse?  A phone call from my gym.  I work out regularly at my local Snap Fitness, and they started a weight loss challenge in the beginning of March.  We had to do the final weigh in last Monday, the last day of my gym membership.  I was really sad that I wouldn't be able to afford to keep it up, but it turns out  I will have 3 more months of gym membership.

For free.

Yep - for free.  I won!  Diligence pays off, and just because I may have flubbed up for a while...  Well, I am human, and I mess up sometimes.  Thank God for reminding me, though, that just because I screwed up, it doesn't mean that I am a screw up.

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A size 10?!

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I had a lovely day on Tuesday on the east side of the state going to visit my cousin with my Mom and one of my faux Aunts.  We had lunch, did a bit of shopping, and perused some stores that I'm quite fond of but rarely get to visit.

The best part?

We stopped by Anthropologie, a store I've been smitten with for years but never imagined actually being able to wear something from.  Well, I tried on a skirt from the clearance rack.  A SIZE 10.  A size 10 from Anthropologie.  Oh.  My gosh.  If I seem a little giddy and inarticulate, well...  That's because I am.  Hooray.

YAY!!!!!

It's easy.

Dear, lovely Fashionably Late Readers,

I am painfully aware of my negligence to this here blog over the last couple of weeks.  I have missed it, and I have missed you! Whomever you may be...

Diligence has not been my forte, lately.  It is far too easy to become lackadaisical about...  Well, everything.  I haven't tracked my food as well as usual, I haven't made as much progress in the weight department as I'd like, and I haven't blogged as often as I should.  But, not this week.  I got back on track, lost 3 pounds, and bought myself some new, helpful goodies.

With fresh resolve, my favorite pen, a new planner, and a neat looking Mead college-ruled composition notebook for recipes with "LET THERE BE FOOD!!!" scribbled on the front, progress shall be made.  Here are a few things you all can expect to be heading your way.

...Regular posts about Fat Archaeology discoveries
...Regular posts about Little Victories
...The return of Sweaty Beats!
...Fashion!  Struggles and successes with shopping, what I've found, where I've found it, and why it worked for me.
...FOOD.  I'll be sharing my go-to products, reviewing things I've tried, posting recipes from cooking and baking, and providing nutritional info and Weight Watchers Point Plus values for each and every one.

First on the agenda?  A tasty little ditty I made for dinner Tuesday evening...  Gotta love light versions of comfort foods. Can't wait to share it!

Here we go!